After I Walked Away
Hi.
So, my “tomorrow” turned into two weeks later. Life has been a little occupied with work and everything else. Should I continue where I left off? How do I even begin?
After walking away from everything during Covid, I have to admit—it wasn’t easy. I cried my eyes out every day. I was hurt, and what hurt me more was realizing no one looked for me. Everyone stayed silent.
Part of me understood that I was the one who left. I remember a few days or maybe weeks later, one of them texted me asking if I was mental.
I laugh when I think about it now. The person said that without ever asking for my side of the story—just straight to labeling me as mental. So, I guess everyone knew by then.
That year, I kept giving chances, but honestly, I was already tiptoeing around everything. I reached my limit when we were discussing a friend’s wedding. I mean, realistically, we all have something we don’t like about someone, right? But they started arguing about what kind of attire should be worn at the wedding.
I was stunned. That felt mean. It’s her wedding; she can decide whatever theme or attire she wants, can’t she? I couldn’t accept that kind of attitude. That’s where I left.
They blamed me for not attending the wedding. But knowing all that, and hearing everyone talking about me, I decided not to show up—I didn’t want to ruin the moment.
I thought it would remain between that circle. After all, she was my childhood friend too. I chose to stay quiet, not wanting to disturb anyone else. I don’t want to go into too much detail, but after Covid, I ran into one of my childhood friends nearby. We talked for a while until she asked me something.
She asked why I never said a word about what happened. I said, “About what?” And she replied, “About you and that friend.”
I told her, “I don’t need to tell you anything. You’re not part of the problem.”
She said she just wanted to know both sides.
I told her, “Sometimes things just happen.”
And yes, I found out what that friend had been saying about me. Honestly, I expected it.
If you asked me today—we’re still mutuals on social media, but that’s it. Another friend once told me she hoped we’d be on good terms again. But I told her, it’s too late. After knowing what was said behind my back, I don’t want that kind of person back in my life. She gave me good memories, yes—but that’s where it ends.
To be honest, I’ve skipped a lot of things in between. Being with that circle, I experienced a lot of good times. They were good people. But I had my own personal struggles, and now I’ve accepted that some people are just not meant to stay until the end.
I saw one of them earlier this year. It was awkward, to be frank. Still, I was the one who reached out to give something. But our wavelengths just don’t match anymore. The things they care about aren’t the same as what I value now.
There are pros and cons to everything, and I finally understand that. Reaching this point—where I can say I understand why people act the way they do, and why I acted the way I did—wasn’t easy.
The outcome? I’ve become calmer, more mature, and I understand myself much better now. I know that in life, we gain some things and lose others, and that’s still okay.
These days, I still have people around—quietly, discreetly. I don’t mind if people reply to me or not, and it goes both ways. I also don’t really update my life on social media anymore. The time I took away from it made a big difference.
Anyway, I have things to do now. I need to stop here—abruptly, I know.
