hati lagi

Allah tu Maha Kuasa kan?

Aku mintak ikhlaskan hati dengan semua ketentuan yang DIA berikan,

DIA jatuhkan aku dugaan.

Satu cara mahu menguji "ikhlaskah lagi aku?"

Nampaknya aku masih belum ikhlas

Subhanallah,

Hina diri terasa.

Kadang-kadang payah terasa nak pujuk diri

Terlupa yang Allah sentiasa di sisi.

Kadang takut diuji,

Takut tiada jati diri tersimpan di hati.

Allah is the best planner Aisyah. Ingat tu. Dia tak letak kalau tak mampu.

aku

“Aku dan masa silamku,

adalah RAHSIA antara aku dengan Tuhanku.

yang selalu menjadi sebutan

di setiap doa dan sujudku.

dan biar Tuhan menjadi saksi

Tangisan dan sesalanku dalam sembunyi.

Aku dan rasa cinta pada adam itu,

adalah RAHSIA antara aku dengan Tuhanku,

yang selalu menjadi sebutan

di setiap doa dan sujudku.

dan hanya Tuhan menjadi saksi,

Tangisan dan cintaku dalam sembunyi.”

— (via penulisbuta)

please leave

never notice
not even recognize
don't even know

but now...

your intelligence really gets my attention
your patience mesmerize me
your looks are just a bonus

but sometimes...

your words were too harsh
your attentions slightly off

but...

you just being you


this is crazy!
I gotta stop it.

komplikasi dalaman

“That was the thing about best friends. Like sisters and mothers, they could piss you off and make you cry and break your heart, but at the end, when the chips were down, they were there, making you laugh even in your darkest hours.”

— “Firefly Lane” by Kristin Hannah

It's so hard to find someone who can accept you the way you are. But it doesn't mean you can't find it at all. It takes time to get to know someone so well. You can't just be someone's best friend. There this bond that connects you, even when you were apart.

Each level in my life, I found people who really can be my friends. The people who take me for who I am  even though sometimes I'm really annoying to be with. With my upside-down feelings, I admit I'm not a good friend. But I can never be good until someone completed me to make me look good. This is hard you know.

That's why I like to be alone. It gives me a lot of time to think about me. It's kinda creepy, but that is me. I do it frequently until it becomes my habit. I'll always reflect on what do I do wrong in a relationship; with family, friends,and people. However, my uncertainty always makes me want to be with people who love me. By that, it can make me feel like I am needed by them.

“I take much pleasure in being alone

but there is also a strange warm grace in not being alone.”

— Charles Bukowski 

my mind

Life isn't as simple as it seems. It becomes so hard when your surrounding is not like how you wish it is. You get hurt because of your expectations; not with life, but with people in your life.

I guess running is not a good escape. Well, maybe for once, it helps you too. But you can't forever get away from your problem. Although you keep thinking how should you run or find a way to keep avoiding it, eventually it will always haunt you back. As time passes, you'll get tired of it.

I've never been so helpless just like how I am now.

Experienced makes you grow; grow to be a better person, as well as a lesson for you not to be that way again. But I don't realize that I keep repeating my fault. I got to admit, I have a flaw. Plenty of it.

To be a perfect person, I can never make it.

But I hate this society. Even though I'm part of it too.

really?

A very short lesson in Psychology;

When a person laughs too much, even on stupid things, that person is sad deep inside

When a person sleeps a lot, that person is lonely

When a person talks less and if he talks fast, that person is keeping a secret

When a person can’t cry, that person is weak

When a person eats in an abnormal way, that person is in tension

When a person cries on little things, that person is softhearted

When someone asks about you although that someone is busy, he/she really loves you

I found this on Tumblr, just for fun :)

You

source

hati

Susah untuk puaskan hati semua pihak,
apatah lagi menjaga hati mereka.
Namun Allah itu Maha Adil,
kerana diri ini juga tak mampu puaskan hati semua pihak
tak dapat pula menjaga hati mereka.

Jadi mengapa harus bermurung,
jikalau diri sendiri tidak mampu melakukan semua itu.

Betul kata orang perihal hati susah untuk dibicara.
Kerana hati mempunyai 1001 rahsia.
Satu ku pinta,
Semoga hati ini sentiasa terbuka menerima ketidaksempurnaan manusia.
Kerna aku juga seperti mereka.

up down, we are all the same

top of it, there you see me :)

someone took me here. awesome right?

Rapuh

Hati ni Ya Allah rapuh sangat.
Rapuh dalam segala-galanya.
Rapuh dalam meniti perjalanan hidup.
Rapuh dalam mengawal sifat amarah.
Umpamanya sebuah benteng yang senang runtuh.
Sebab apa?
Sebab benteng yang dibuat itu tidak cukup kukuh untuk menampung satu-satu beban yang menimpa.
Malu sungguh dengan diri.
Malu lagi dengan Allah swt.
Sebab apa malu?
Sebab diri sendiri tidak mampu menahan setiap beban yang ada.