“That was the thing about best friends. Like sisters and mothers, they could piss you off and make you cry and break your heart, but at the end, when the chips were down, they were there, making you laugh even in your darkest hours.”
— “Firefly Lane” by Kristin Hannah
It's so hard to find someone who can accept you the way you are. But it doesn't mean you can't find it at all. It takes time to get to know someone so well. You can't just be someone's best friend. There this bond that connects you, even when you were apart.
Each level in my life, I found people who really can be my friends. The people who take me for who I am even though sometimes I'm really annoying to be with. With my upside-down feelings, I admit I'm not a good friend. But I can never be good until someone completed me to make me look good. This is hard you know.
That's why I like to be alone. It gives me a lot of time to think about me. It's kinda creepy, but that is me. I do it frequently until it becomes my habit. I'll always reflect on what do I do wrong in a relationship; with family, friends,and people. However, my uncertainty always makes me want to be with people who love me. By that, it can make me feel like I am needed by them.
“I take much pleasure in being alone
but there is also a strange warm grace in not being alone.”
— Charles Bukowski
